The Upside of Down by Megan McArdle
It's so easy for us to get stuck in our comfort zone. Think about how many times you wanted to accomplish something, but haven't because you're scared you won't be any good. Too many times we let ourselves get caught up in fear. That fear can come both personally and professionally.
How can we ever expect to grow if we don't take chances?
How can we every expect to grow if we allow ourselves to stick with what we know and not try new things?
How can we allow ourselves to be better people if we let our fear of failure stand in the way?
I got the chance to chat with author and blogger Megan McArdle harnessing that power of failure and how to recognize our mistakes early so we can channel those setbacks into future success.
Thanks for chatting with me today, Megan. First, what inspired you to write “The Upside of Down: Why Failing Well Is The Key To Success”?
Well, my own personal experiences among other things. Right after I graduated from business school in 2001, I was supposed to work for a management firm but instead they delayed and delayed and delayed the job. Then they fired the whole associate class, none of us ever got to work there. In the two years I tried to find a permanent job including a bunch of things that kept not happening at the last minute.
At the end, I decided after writing a fairly successful blog (which I started in 2001) to try to become a journalist. It was completely scary because it's not a particularly secure profession and I had $100,000 in student loan debt, but it was the thing that I was doing the best at. So, I got a job at The Economist and throughout that two years it ended up being the best thing to ever happen to me.
Writing this book, I hear the same thing over and over again about the most amazingly, unique opportunities you wouldn't think anyone would describe as one of the best things in someone's life. Not just when it comes to leaving a job, but also getting up at the altar or going to prison. These moments of failure really can be a transformational moment if we push them to be.
Well, what was it that lead you to begin writing a blog and then later try a career in journalism, especially for someone who went to business school and was going to work for a management firm?
I had started the blog in 2001, right after 9/11 where I had a short-term job working down at the National Recovery Site. Over time I started writing more about business and economics and realized that I loved this more than anything. I loved telling people, who weren't professional economists, how economics works and how it impacts the government and our personal lives. Over time I realized how much I loved this, and made the decision to pursue journalism even though it was a risky decision.
So that failure in thinking you knew what you wanted and not actually happening lead you to the career you were supposed to have?
Exactly. We all have a huge desire for security. People are really afraid of losing what they have, and so if you have a position that maybe isn't that good but you feel is a little more secure than the alternative then often we tend to stick with it. Even if in the long term it's a bad bet. For example, look at someone in their 30s with a relationship that doesn't seem to be going anywhere. They would rather just stick with it because it's so frightening to go out there and try to find someone else, even if it results in disaster. At least until the day when they finally realize it's not working and have to end it.
Wow. That's an interesting perspective to think of the people who aren't happy with a job or a relationship but stick with it because they it's what they know. Now I want to touch on what you mentioned about that fear of control, because in your case you were able to push through that fear to find that success that you have now.
Absolutely. Now don't get me wrong, there were some pretty dark moments but in the end I picked up and kept moving. That's the difference between people who get stuck in a failure and people who manage to make a transformation and keep moving no matter what. You look at job loss, and the number one predictor of whether you will get another job or how quickly is how much time you spend on your job search.
The problem is that when you look at surveys of job seekers, their job search activity is the most unpleasant thing that they do all week. It makes them anxious and depressed. They get turned down a lot or they don't hear anything (which can be even worse). So they avoid it and put it off as long as possible.
That's the opposite of what you should do and need to do. I talk in the book about some ways that you can overcome those feelings, get yourself to do it, and get yourself back with the workforce as soon as possible. Even if it's not necessarily your dream job, it's always better to be looking for a job from an existing job then from a place of not having anything.
What are some of the ways that you mentioned in your book to overcome those feeling?
One of the first things is instead of focusing on the outcome you focus on the positive. This is key to staying on track in life and moving on. You don't want to make your goal to be the deadline of getting a job at the end of the week. So instead of focusing on “I'm too good” or “I'm a bad person” or “am I going to get a job”, make it about making say 30 phone calls and two informational interviews.
Then you make a list and check that off, so you can have those little wins to hit that goal. You need those little wins in order to keep moving and to get to the big goal, which ultimately is getting back into the job market.
So that's definitely a nice positive reminder to keep in the back of our mind and not let ourselves get discouraged if we get that phone call or email that says we haven't been chosen for the position.
Absolutely.
Now what are some other factors to help people to not focus on that failure or that rejection, but rather to see it as something to embrace and push even further towards that success?
The first thing to do is remember that failure really is how we fall down. If you think about someone who plays tennis or basketball, the first time you don't sit down and spend two years developing an elaborate theory of ball strategy. That doesn't help you at all. You can be the best on paper, but it won't make you any better at playing tennis or basketball. What actually makes you better is going out and trying. The first hundred or so times that you do it, the ball won't go anywhere near where it's supposed to but over time you practice and get better. You find what doesn't work and you stop doing that. That's really how people and economies win too. You try something, you find what doesn't work and stick with the stuff that does. They may be the minority, but it's about the wins and those are the most important things.
It really is about finding that motivation and persevering through the hard times. We hear it constantly that life isn't easy. This is just an example of that.
Absolutely. You know there's a real difference and there's something that I talked with a psychologist for the book about. They studied who uses failure as a way to grow and who doesn't. There are people who think of failure as how to deepen their talents and then there are people who think of failure as as fixed talent quantity they received at birth, so whenever they try a new task it's just measuring that and sticking a dipstick in and seeing what the level is. They are afraid to do new things and take those risks because they might find out they are not up to it.
The good news is that you can change how you think about it. Over the course of the book, many people have asked if it's a self-help book, and for me it certainly was. In the course of writing the book, I had a fixed mindset about things that I did and what wasn't necessarily good enough over time. Someone said to me “I knew that I had changed when I heard myself saying wow I suck at this but this is really fun”. You can change that mindset, and train yourself to think in a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset.
I feel like it really does come down to our attitude and perspective for where we will let a situation take us. If it's something like a job, like what you were talking about, and if we keep that good attitude and remember that something good will come out of the situation then we are more likely to stay motivated and push through rather than think negatively and stay stuck in that fixed mindset.
Absolutely. And you know maybe even a little unrealistically because the funny thing about entrepreneurs is that they are extremely optimistic people. They react to setbacks by continuing to power through, and realizing it's not about them but rather external events. So they keep going despite the negative feedback they're getting, and that's what we all have to train ourselves to do. We need to say “look this isn't about me, this is about trying something”.
Failure is what happens when you do something you don't know how to do. Doing something you don't know how to do is great, and how we explore new territory, make new products, and build a better life for ourselves. So we need to understand that when that is happening, we need to learn from it. Then we say that it's okay and we aren't up to the task because we didn't know enough and maybe now we do.
Exactly. Where can people go to pick up a copy of your book?
They can go to MeganMcArdle.com, and I have links to all the major booksellers there or you can go straight to Amazon or Barnes and Noble, and then of course to check it out at your local bookstore.
